THEGSPOT.GSWMATCHMAKING.COM: Recent Comments

Comment on Know when to HOLD them, FOLD them, WALK away, and RUN

Dr.G — Thu, 07 May 2009 12:00:54 GMT

People will do whatever it takes in order to keep us where they want us including lie. And they lie for many reason’s, mostly to try and keep themselves from looking bad to other people, controlling their current situation, and garnering trust and sympathy. All of these things are geared toward keeping the person in their lives their “Pawns” for as long as possible. Some of these people have dependant personalities and are very jealous.

Whether they love us or not their main objective is to control their surroundings at any cost.

The only thing you can do now, is try to learn from your unfortunate turn of events. By now your Ex has spun a web of lies so believable to a new “Victim” that whatever you say will only cause you more harm, heart ache and pain than you deserve. You are free and have learned a very painfull lesson that you will not repeat.

The best thing to do at this point is to take some time out from relationships and get to know and love you, so next time you will be able to smell the bullshit before it overtakes you.

Best wishes,
Dr G

Comment on Know when to HOLD them, FOLD them, WALK away, and RUN

Tue, 05 May 2009 02:11:15 GMT

Dr G,

I am looking for some advice and when i read this posting, I thought maybe you would be perfect. I have been in a relationship that was based solely on lies, and how is one to know when they are being lied to? I mean, there is obvious lies, if say, drugs were involved but these lies went above and beyond the scope of a normal human being. The lies ranged from them having cancer, about their sexual orientation, about their job and financial situation, their previous spouse dying of cancer was a lie, their family background, even the reason behind some apparent jail time that they served. In your opinion, how would one really know, when the lies were so extravagent that one would believe them because of all the backup information they would provide? How would you handle this situation? What would be the best course of action to be able to see behind the lies so that you don't get hurt again by something like this. How can one ever trust people again after going through all of these lies and then find out many months into the relationship it was all garbage? Granted not all people are pathological liars and con artists, but it left a mark. I feel for anyone else that is caught up in my ex's web of deceit and hope that they do not have to endure what happened to me, and Lord knows how many others. It's a terrible thing and I wish I could show these other people the proof I have so that they will not pay a price such as I did. I have a bad feeling though that my ex had indeed made up lies to them that would prevent them from hearing what I have to say. Is it so wrong for me to want to help them as someone did for me so that I wasn't drained from all of the lies and deceit? How would you even get them to listen?
Any advice would be appreciated.

Comment on Sex in the closet

ELU — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:23:51 GMT

A LOT OF US HAVE HAD RELATIONSHIPS WE WOULD LIKE TO FORGET. FOR ME THERE MAYBE 2 OR 3. IT WASN'T ABOUT THE THE SEX AT THAT TIME I WANTED SOMEBODY IN MY LIFE . WHEN I SEE THEM NOW I TRY TO BE INVISIBLE PRAYING THEY DON'T SEE ME.

SOMETIMES IT COULD BE YOUR JOB U CAN'T BE WITH THIS PERSON U CAN LOSE IT. FAMILY AND FRIENDS MAY LAUGH AT U BECAUSE U CAN DO BETTER OR HE'S MARRIED.

Comment on Where for art thou?

RUBY — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:00:52 GMT

WHAT'S TRUE LOVE? IF YOU MUST KNOW JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY TRUE LOVE. THATS THE ONLY LOVE I KNOW IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE A MAN REALLY LOOKED AT ME. THEY DON'T SPEAK, NOBODY WANTS TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO BLACK WOMEN ANYMORE. IT'S LIKE WE ARE TABOO!

I'M SORRY MAYBE I SHOULD NOT SAY THAT BUT I AM BEING TRUE. THESE MEN ARE LOOKING AT GIRLS, YOUNGER THAN TWENTY. SO IF U ARE MY AGE GOOD LUCK.

YOU GOT TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO GET A DATE OTHER RACES ARE SCARED TO TALK TO YOU, SO WE ARE SCREWED.

GOD HELP US ALL.

MAYBE I GOT OFF THE PATH, HEY....

Comment on Where for art thou?

Sani — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 02:55:04 GMT

I totally agree with this observation. Most likely a victim of this bias activity more times than not; I get comments lots of times because I may not look like a model or beauty queen, but my heart is pure and am a very creative, talented, funny and kind person. I will not conform and become someone I'm not just to pease another. Most wouldn't take the time to get to know me. I look at it as their loss because I don't judge people by appearance. I like to know weather they are compatible and have somewhat the same goals in mind. I am more spiritual and look for the spiritual and or vibrational connection.

When I feel that person I will know it is the right one. In order to feel that, I must take time and vibe with them. I also know that if I were looking for that woman; She will also be looking for me.

Comment on How low can you go?

Sani — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 02:38:16 GMT

I think she should keep her candy to herself. Although she could still talk to him and get his feedback; I wouldn't share all of the details. I would just let him know what I was feeling. She wouldn't be able to really enjoy herself anymore if he knew all about it.

Comment on How low can you go?

Sista Brownsugar — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:47:54 GMT

A woman on the DL doesn't want a man in the mix. Why would you want a man in there? Most times the woman will go for the other woman. Be careful what you wish for...

Comment on How low can you go?

Certified Fresh — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:56:32 GMT

I think she should ask him first to see how he feel about the situation. Then give a hypothetical "What if", using him and her as the example. If he cool whit it tell him, if not change the subject and keep it moving. I was in a relationship with a girl for 6 years and after the 6th year she told me she was getting it on with a chick a year prior to our 6th year. I was more upset because I just found this out, but if I had known earlier it would have been cool.

Comment on As Good As It Gets

Fresh — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:28:55 GMT

this is right down my ally, no in all honesty it's the simple fact that they are a good person, and they are worth a chance, even though you might not be happy, that was your decision to get with that person in the first place, you saw something in them that you liked..

Comment on Recycling

Sani — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:45:56 GMT

I have never recycled so I could not give an experienced response. I can say that when in relationships i will give it a full effort before extinguishing the relationship. So when I do go...there is no reason to reexamine that type of relationship for me. We can be friends and move on from there.