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Know when to HOLD them, FOLD them, WALK away, and RUN

Dr.G — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:46:00 GMT

...when to HOLD them, FOLD them, walk away and RUN

I’ve been in two committed relationships and have dated a countless number of times.

My current commitment is a keeper, we respect each other and first and foremost we are friends. We were friends’ way before we became lovers and one never tries to change the other. I think the secret of a strong relationship is to like each other. This would be the hand that you HOLD.

My first commitment was filled with what I like to refer to as Crazy Love. We did not take the time to get to know each other. Ours was an instant lust, attraction type of relationship. The kind of attraction that makes you drive past the house at 2:00 in morning because the other could not be reached by cell phone, pager or smoke signal. The kind of attraction that makes you stay in that relationship trying to make it right even though you know there is no hope, this would be the hand that you FOLD.

Then there was the relationship that I wanted to work out because we were the lovers and best of best friends, it just did not seem to be the “Right Time” in both of our lives. Sadly enough, this would be the hand that you walk way from.

Now for everyone who has ever gotten to a point in their lives when they needed and wanted to have someone, anyone in their lives. This would be the relationship that you would have to know when to RUN.

There was a point in my life when I was lonely and desperate to have a partner in my life. This relationship was no good from the start (this was a low point in my life). The person would choose what I was going to wear when we went out and what I said when we were around their friends. This person would wake me up in the morning just to tell me I looked funny when I slept. They would argue with me for comments I made about how good I thought a movie actor looked. After about 4 months of this constant controlling, no love filled relationship, I RAN and never looked back

Keep If Moving

Dr.G — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:09:00 GMT

Here is a little advice for anyone who has ever been on a “fixed up” or blind date.

Agree to meet your mystery person in a public place. Meet over lunch or a QUICK (1 drink) after work and during the week. Why during the week? This is the best time to have a short meeting with someone you don't know. You have the opportunity to spend 5 or 10 minutes with them (this is all the time you really need to find out if you want to see this person again) if you do not think this person is someone you would like to see again, don't agree to another meeting, say "it was nice meeting you” get up and keep it moving.

In the end, you’ve met someone new, had a relaxing drink to end your day and exercised your right to be you and not comprise yourself, just to be nice.

Fake 'til you make it

Dr.G — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:44:00 GMT

If you find yourself coming out of a bad relationship, here are a few things you need to do. First off have yourself a good cursing fest, cry if you have to, just get it out, get over it and get back in the game.

The worst thing that you can do after a break up is continuing to swim in the self-pity pool. You should not phone the other person or take their calls and don’t spend time listening to sad music.

The best thing to do is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get ready to start all over again. Fix yourself up and start looking your best, so the next time you see this person you will make them wish they never let you go. In other words fake it ‘til you make it.

Where for art thou?

Dr.G — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 01:10:00 GMT

Why is it that we sit around waiting for Ms / Mr. “Right” to come along? Whenever we go out, we go out expecting to find our one true love. When we are approach by people that may be interested in us we pick them apart. We say things like; her hair’s too short, he has no top lip, she is too tall, his feet are too small…

If we were to just stop picking people apart and get to know people for who they are before we pass judgment I can assure you that you will find your Romeo or Juliet. They may not come in the package that you were expecting, but true love never does.

Sex in the closet

Dr.G — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:18:00 GMT

How many of us are having sex with someone that we would not want anyone to find out about? This is not to say that the sex is not good, it’s great. But we do not, for whatever reason, want anyone to know about it.

Coming home from a weekend visit with the parental unit, I was listening to the radio. A woman (she did not give her name) with a very nice voice was saying how she was in a relationship with a guy that she cares for very deeply. However, given the nature of her work she could not reveal the nationality of her lover and this was tearing her apart. She could not be seen in public with him for fear of losing her job, nor could she invite him to any of her fancy office functions.

Is it that we are afraid of what people might say` or is it that our secret lovers look better in the dark?

How low can you go?

Dr.G — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:32:00 GMT

Having a conversation this weekend with a few girlfriends over drinks, the topic of being on the down low came up. Most conversations about being on the down low would be about men, but no, not this time, it was about women. You would be totally amazed at how many women are on the down low.

One of my friends admitted to having a secret love with a very good girlfriend of hers for years. She said that they meet once or twice a week for a lunch quickie or on the weekends to steal an intimate moment or two. I was very happy for her because she finally shared this very important aspect of her life with her friends. She was afraid to tell her husband about the affair, because she feared he would not understand and would leave her.

I say most men have a fantasy about seeing or being with two women. Therefore, she should tell her husband about her fantasy and desires regarding being with another woman, just to see how he feels about it.

What do you think she should do?

Dam Dam Dam

Dr.G — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:57:00 GMT

Having a conversation with a few people at a cocktail party the conversation quickly turned to sexual pleasures. One person brought up the subject of "Cunnilingus" oral sex,and the use of Dental Dams.

For those of you who do not know what dental dams are, they are small, thin, square pieces of latex that are used for oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. They get their name from their use in dental procedures. Dental dams help to reduce the transmission of STIs during oral sex by acting as a barrier to vaginal and anal secretions that contain bacteria and viruses. They come in a variety of sizes and flavors - so you can find a dam that satisfies your tastes.

Each of us was asked the question, do you use them? And if you do, does it take away from the natural feel of making love?

I was like, Damn! This must be a trick question. Think about it; is the question for relationships that are girl on girl or guy on girl? I need to know, or does it matter?

As Good As It Gets

Dr.G — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 18:53:00 GMT

As good as it gets

Have you ever been in a relationship that was just OK? You go through the motions because the person that you are with is a really good person, however, you wish deep down inside that you were with someone who REALLY does it for you.

Do people stay in relationships that are just OK, because they are committed to making it work or does having to have to go through dating tons of crazy people over and over until you find “THE ONE” make you want to shoot yourself in head?

Is this as good as it gets? And, why shouldn’t you go that extra mile?

Working with a partner

Dr.G — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 22:20:00 GMT

Why is it that some of us will allow our partners to be a part of our life and not contribute to it. These people do not have jobs, are not attending school, nothing.

Our partners will take us to work, keep our cars and tell us they are looking for work during the day when all the while they are riding around burning our expensive gas, and we know this. When asked about this by are friends and family our excuse becomes “I am trying to work with my partner because he/she is doing the best that they can”

My question to you is: Are we working with our partners or working for our partners?

Recycling

Dr.G — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:06:00 GMT

Why do some people recycle old relationships? Is it that they feel more comfortable with what they know? Are they afraid to move forward? Is it low self-esteem or fear of rejection?

And when they recycle, are they going back to that old unresolved issue, which is the reason they are not together, or is it that these issues were resolved and the timing is now right?

I have known people who have gone back to an old partner out of loneliness, just to find out that the thing that tore them apart is still there and unresolved, thus resulting the relationship ending badly for a second time.

Good Sex

Dr.G — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:13:00 GMT

Why is it some people stay in relationships, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the other person is using them and have no intension of committing to them? One of the worst reasons I have heard to date is "I stay because the sex is so good". What is that?

Welcome

Dr.G — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 07:37:59 GMT

Welcome to The "G" spot

Feel free to explore with me different subjects of love, relationships and the things we will and will not do for it.

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